-Who do you most frequently compare yourself to?
-If you’re not sure, try this question: Who have you compared yourself to in the last 24 hours?
-If you’re still not sure, think of the last time you checked your Facebook or Instagram feed. Which updates made you feel envious, or made you feel as if your life paled in comparison? In turn, did any posts make you feel smug, or better than that person?
-The comparison game—or war—is as old as humanity.
Here are 5 tips to stop comparing yourself to others:
1. Become aware of and avoid your triggers
Start noticing the situations that cause you to play the comparison game. Social media is a big one for most of us. Make a list of who and what you frequently envy or compare yourself to. Write how each negatively affects you, and why it’s a waste of your time. Resolve to catch yourself next time. Avoid comparison triggers if you can, especially if the activity or contact doesn’t add meaning or any real value to your life.
2. Remind yourself that other people’s “outsides” can’t be compared to your “insides”
This is such a helpful habit to cultivate. Unless you’re close to someone, you can’t use their outward appearance to judge the reality of their life. People carefully curate the social media versions of their lives, and do the same with the lives they live out publicly.
3. Repeat whenever necessary: “Money doesn’t buy happiness, and never will”
It’s well established that wealth, beyond having the basics in life, isn’t associated with increased happiness or well-being. Money and things provide temporary boosts of joy; self-love and compassion are much more than that.
4. Be grateful for the good in your life, and resist any lies that shout “It’s not enough”
If you commit yourself to be deeply grateful for what’s good in your life and remind yourself of it daily, you’ll be far less vulnerable to comparison and envy. If someone or something triggers that ugly feeling of negative comparison, stop and remind yourself of what’s good in your life. There is so much.
5. Use comparison as motivation to improve what actually matters
This human propensity to want what others have is such a waste of time unless what you see and “covet” in another is something of deep worth, such as their generosity or kindness. Who do you admire? What kinds of comparisons might actually be healthy for you? For example, there are extraordinary people who truly make a difference in their worlds, and I want to be more and more like them. Who inspires you to live better, in the way that matters most? Spend your precious time and thoughts on this, instead.
Imagine if you could elevate the comparison game to an useful art form. Stop falling prey to its dark underbelly, which does little more than increase feelings of misery and lack in your life. Use comparison, instead, to become a better person and maybe even make your little corner of the world a better place.
Do you agree? Share your thoughts in the comments below ❤
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