"Pick Me" Girl Phenomenon & Body-Shaming

“Am I the only one who leaves my face natural without any excessive makeup?”
“Those “Feminists” are probably just a bunch of unattractive fatties, the actually attractive women are all busy caring for their own lives!”
“I’m a woman and I can’t even accept feminism, no wonder why men are so annoyed by it!”

Pick Me Girl Phenomenon

Recently, during discussions on feminism or in particular, toxic feminism, comments such as those mentioned can be easily seen. Along with them is the appearance of the “Pick Me Girl” replies to said comments. “Pick Me” or “Pick Me Girl” is a term used to describe women who are willing to do or say anything to catch the attention of men, often in conjunction with actions and statements aimed to demean fellow females. Originating from AAVE - African American Vernacular English - this term has been greatly popularized by Internet Memes, on TikTok with the hashtag #TweetLikeAPickMe. While this appears to just be a caricature, it is actually something that exists in reality and can be most clearly seen in disputes related to gender equality and feminism.

 

During the 2010s, most netizens would have probably seen at least once memes saying “I’m not like other girls” or “Other girls dress extravagantly, wear pink, makeup, but I play games, sports, and hang out with boys”. Similarly, “Pick Me Girls” will readily say that they are different from “other girls”. Notably, Pick Me has a tendency to demean other women via negative comments. These comments often include things such as “slut-shaming”, “male chauvinism” and to a certain extent, body shaming.

If the ideology of Male Chauvinism is formed and ingrained in the mind, the heterosexual male-female relationship is considered the default, then what is considered masculine will be valued and given more respect than what is feminine. Accordingly, men will prefer women who “go against the norm”, against what is often expected of women: wearing makeup, feminine clothing, going out and enjoy themselves, posting pictures of their body on social media, support feminism,... Since they were children, their parents taught them that: girls who care too much about their looks, like makeup, and dress extravagantly are unfailingly snobbish and shallow. However, once they grow up, they would hear things that all of us must have heard before such as:” How can a girl who is clumsy, unable to cook, and cares only for her career get a husband?”, sayings such as this subtly suggests that seeking acceptance from men plays a big part in a women’s life. This is also present in the general motif of teen movies, by constructing a confrontational scenario between a female character who is feminine and amorous versus one who is an “outcast”, nerdy and doesn’t care about the way she dresses, implying to the audience that women have to literally fight each other for men. When such sentiments are presented to a girl during her adolescent years, it is very possible that she will fixate them into her subconscious and her actions, later on, will be a reflection of said sentiments.

 

Back to the body-shaming and Pick Me aspect, these typical Pick-Mes normally feel a certain sense of distinction between themselves and "the other girls", considering them as rivals in the competition for men's attention. In fact, within them exists the desire to become one among "the other girls", and hateful speech is basically a type of responsive behavior as the feelings of shame and estrangement emerge. In many cases, inferiority complex boils down to body dysmorphia and gender roles, causing ostracization and demonization of those with the body figure one used to dream about; or mocking people who possibly share similar experiences with body image issues. What is more, Pick-Mes have a tendency to adopt the mind frame that only by distinguishing themselves and reach for the supreme position comparing to other girls will they successfully gain men's respect and increase their self-worth. This very trait exposed the issues of Pick Mes of low self-esteem and in some instances, a negative viewpoint upon their body image.

 

The consequences brought about by the Pick Me Girl phenomenon can be pinpointed with much ease, especially with the spread of social media. Pick Mes may popularize toxic concepts, including slut-shaming, victim-shaming or body-shaming, as well as disparaging the positive changes to the female gender that the feminism movement has so far generated. What must be done at this point in time is promoting unity, self-respect as well as independence to all girls and women around the globe; for regardless of our origins and standings in life, each and every woman is entitled to her own value. Above all, let us all spend time reflecting and viewing through the outlooks of others so as to pay greater respect to human diversity, whether it is body figure, gender identity, or how one expresses themselves to the outer world.

Link: The Glow Project

 
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